FRIEND AND COMPANY

I would have sought conscious shelter in the shell-world, as a necessary, inevitable self-discovery, in which my eternal wandering mind might be enlightened, and now I would seek a companion in this earthly One-world. For the umpteenth time, the idle minute, like the mouth of tadpole-embryos, hesitates within me, while the blood-blasting holy fire of twilight gleams back on the crystals of weary windows.

Many a time have I been compelled to listen to the scrape of words hammering on the tweaked marrow of my brain: at once sculpted and then captured by the shape-shifting thought. Could my exhausting labours be of any use?! Endless Executioner-Time, thou at once cursed and cast out from the unsteady paths of human existence - in me still the consciousness struggles on, like the instincts of circulating molecules of tireless cells; all may one day be clear and right!

Man, this earthly creature, is now not only vile, but indifferent to the core - no one even flinches when he hears endless precocious obscenities in the underworld depths of alleys - on their listening ears the silence is murderous-unsuspecting, frivolous trampling!

My frightened, black throbbing now still my wounded heart beckons, And suicidal fear clings to me: how shall I go on with the number of my years begun? Whoever knows me at all - may know me in the wounded pleas of my true pearls, which I deliberately waste in my sympathy. On the wild spines of human-spinal pitfalls, I still stand still - I cannot know: who can help me go on!

The click of my watch's warning rushes through the channels of my arteries the sure realization: I can still live, though only in a limited way! I admire now the mournful wandering hermit, and the adventurous-hearted Adonis, who, braving a million dangers, boldly trudge through trials and rise after failures, for in their souls still works the idyllic promise of survival. A stump of a goose still walks among men, - but waiting for a companion, never...